Where am I?

I like I am in a total fog these days...my head is killing me! It's a constant ache with a side of eye-twitching. After a while I start to nauseous and anxious and if I am lucky I will then get to lie down....ahhhh....I love to lie down and close my eyes. My pillow, with it's juvenile sock monkey pillowcase, is so soft and my blanket so warm...but not too warm. I wish I were lying down right now. I tried but the nap wouldn't come. For several months I have felt like I am in a fog...I am stressed and anxious, but I can't even seem to grasp the details of those feelings. Maybe it's a bit of depression mixed with tension headaches and an ongoing sense that I not where God can use me. God has blessed me with a family that is whole--parents and a sister that love me. I am blessed with a husband who is truly my best friend. Jeremy always has and most certainly will remain

the person that knows the most about me (besides God, himself). I have three beautiful, amazing, LOUD boys who keep me on my toes and bless me each day with their hugs, messy boy-breath kisses, and rambunctious laughter. I can read each expression on Charlie's face, know each freckle sprinkled on the bridge of Jackie's nose, and can hear Henry's funny little voice from a mile away. God has blessed me with love. So why the fog??? Good question. As I was looking through the files of pictures Jer has on this computer I came across these pictures from Charlie's End-Of-The-Year Preschool party 2 years ago. When you see the joy in their eyes...the excitement of sprinklers and yellow popsicles, it's hard to remember what is so gosh darn difficult. Their sweet faces...that's the joy Jesus speaks of.