Copy Cat

So, right now I am going through a TERRIBLE time. Life is difficult. But not as difficult as many people in the world so I should not complain. But everyone's life and troubles are relative and everyone's life and trouble's are valid at some point. So, although no one is dying, our house hasn't burnt down, we have been hit by no terrible natural disasters...I still feel like stuff kinda sucks right now. But enough about that...
I am copying from Jamie's bog (who is probably the only person who reads this any way). Things I miss. A great topic for someone who is already depressed...thanks Jam!

My grandpa...there is nothing else that could possibly top this list. I think of my grandpa almost everyday. I loved him and miss him madly. He died 11 years ago, and I still miss him terribly. My therapist says it is because he made me feel special--he was always telling me how proud he was of me. Of course, the rest of my family did too, but I just had a special connection, maybe because I was the first grandchild...but I miss him.

My Aunt Patti--sometimes it takes my breath away when I think of her suddenly and realize she is really gone. She thought I was crazy--loving Jesus and getting married young, but she loved me & accepted me anyways. She was the glue and I miss knowing she is here like crazy!

I miss taking bubble baths every evening when I was not working at a retaurant--I did this until Jackie was born and have taken about 2 bubble baths in the 4 years since. Sigh...

I miss taking joy in the little things--the special Pooh Bear that Jeremy secretly purchased for me when we visited FAO Schwartz in Orlando. I slept with that for years...now it sits on top of my kids bunk beds wasting away, only to be played with when my kids are "bombing" things from the top of the bunk bed, throwing every stuffed animal in sight on the ground.

I miss having a best friend around...I love going to Florida and spending time with Jamie--it is so good to be around someone who gets me. A lot of people don't get me...

I miss Saturdays spent lying in bed all day with Jer, watching Real World marathons and playing MarioKart on Nintendo 64. I miss going to Target or Barnes and Noble on Friday evenings and just browsing until we felt like going home. I miss being able to go to a movie on a moment's notice, hanging out at a friend's house without worrying about what my kid's are going to destroy when I am not looking!

I miss Jamie's house circa 1994. We had so much fun (amid the drama that is Jr. High)! I miss building that STUPID dollhouse, playing RISK late into the night and jumping on the trampoline with Donna until she peed! I miss our late night adventures with Donna and Mr. John, me hanging out the car window or acting like a crazy person at Subway or TB. I miss that wood table with the benches and sitting on the couch peering out the windows at Croton Rd. I don't miss the horrible mattress that sagged to the right which always left me kissing the wall when I slept over!

I miss Youth Camp...everything about it. I feel like every moment of that one week each summer is ingrained in my mind...it is why I am a youth minister...that other students might have experiences similar to that.

I miss the smell and sounds of a newborn baby, nuzzling the top of their fuzzy heads, nursing them, sleeping with them curled up next to me.

But I am so happy with my life, a faith that can move mountains, a husband that I love, a best friend that I can relate to, a family that loves me and supports me...and children that are truly everything.